This essay was first drafted in 2016, followed by occasional noodling, but it’s taken me this long to find a home for it. Only shell #5 and the majority of #1 remain unpublished. And I should add that Becky Tuch, our supreme leader, made some wonderful suggestions that greatly added to the essay. In my experience, rarely do editors edit.
Re Hermit Crab Shell # 5 'I never heard back from the editors, and am afraid to ask why.' You know why. a) You're male. b) You're old c) You wrote about a young woman, making you automatically a pedophile d) the editors are all MFA graduates. Such is the cesspit of cancel culture and political correctness. If you've got something humorous to share, try https://witcraft.org As a 72 year old editor, I might just have a home for you.
Elizabeth (and Doug) – It appears I have quickly become 3rd wheel here, but am curious to know where your “something” is. Is it somewhere in in the Lit Mag blog, or is it somewhere in my new Substack account, with which I am totally unfamiliar?
I can relate to your traveling in the not so brave new world of aging, being only 5 years younger. Because your writing style is so good, I'm surprised your essays have any trouble getting adopted; but I do think you're wise to use a shotgun for submitting as opposed to the sniper rifle the lady you refer to uses, trying to pick off one lit mag at a time.
While I've mostly had poems published [cramming them down the barrel of that metaphorical shotgun!] I have been surprised that the rare essay I've sent out, titled 'The Day I Remembered My Soul', has been published 11 times online [with another release scheduled March 15 by EgoPHobia ] and 3 times in print, including an anthology on suicide. I am a bit ashamed it's taken me over 50 years to share that life-changing NDE with the world, but then we both have lived long enough to know this world is more dangerous than it has ever been in history,
Great lines in here. I like this especially: "Old souls are delightful when young, and their wisdom is cherished in age. But in between, they are annoying know-it-alls."
This is the kind of essay that is pleasant to read in the morning: One long, gentle, yet dark and musty chuckle ushers me into my writing day. Thank you.
Catapults, sir. Keep loading them and rocking the world. I know, terrible pun (a phrase itself redundant). At your venerable age and based on your skill (the blog post I’m commenting on), you know how to get published: just write what is generally published. But that’s not why you’re here in this world. So the “delicate flower” mode of submission ain’t for you. The hockey metaphor (?) is your lodestone: you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Every held-back story is a shot untaken. Keep catapulting, blasting fish, sending out the cavalry. It’s a numbers game for you, or it should be. I may have used “lodestone״ wrong, but it’s a good word, isn’t it? And you know what I mean. Good luck.
That was a thoroughly rewarding read Mr. Leblond. I am even older than you, but like you I took up writing in my seventies as a way of keeping busy in retirement. I eschew writing essays. In the main, I have attempted to write poetry and occasionally flash fiction with moderate success. I began my foray into writing by spraying my output around, sending it to sites I picked out of Poets and Writers. Later, I tended to stick to those sites that had accepted my work in the past. I played safe if you will. It quickly became obvious that editors’ tastes were subjective, one man’s meat being another man’s poison, so that the inevitable rejections no longer hurt as they used to when I started out.
Agreed. I too have come to realize how subjective is the editor’s judgement. I think it depends on how well they are responding to breakfast – that is, their gut feeling. I have been an editor in the past, and most editors are also writers, at least in their closets. I’m ok with going by gut feeling – much preferable to going by politically correct dictums.
I'm used to it by now, I've kinda reached the point of 'let it go' and keep trying. I did finally hire an editor to edit my stories. It was time to have a professional set of eyes. If just one story (I sent her 10) gets accepted, it'll be worth it.
Although quite short, this is one of my favorite pieces, and I’m proud to share it. It was first published by Trampset in 2018, and was also selected by EastOver Press for inclusion in my book. You can access it online with: Trampset LeBlond Writing While Old.
I read somewhere (hopefully nonfiction) that Elmore Leonard accumulated 82 rejections before his first book was accepted. I know of no other act of self-confidence approaching that.
Here is my coping other than being a digital hoard and trying to accumulate rejections like video game points.
(almost) every time I send out a piece at least one person reads it. In some cases I'm sure its turned and churned, but other places have two or more readers so it evens out. I figure I'm getting more readers with more rejections than I would if I published on the internet by myself.
I don't know if I'd have the fortitude with a manuscript. My reasoning doesn't really hold water there because most of them are likely only reading the blurb or the first page or the first chapter rather than the whole thing...
I write fiction, not essays but I can relate. About the old man story: I wrote a slightly fantasy-ish story about an elderly man grieving the loss of his wife who finds solace in conversations with the Moon. It turns out the moon is not what she seems to be. That thing that I thought was poetic was refused over and over, until LEON took it (thank you guys!) and said they loved it. I believe it received very little love because most editors are very young.... Now, Rock and a Hard Place published one of my story that features an elderly man, no qualms there, but it's a crime/noir thing and when it comes to killing people, your ticket never expires, lol.
“The market is small for old men writing about young girls.” Yeah, no shit. Very enjoyable and entertaining piece about the elusive search for creative home(s).
This essay was first drafted in 2016, followed by occasional noodling, but it’s taken me this long to find a home for it. Only shell #5 and the majority of #1 remain unpublished. And I should add that Becky Tuch, our supreme leader, made some wonderful suggestions that greatly added to the essay. In my experience, rarely do editors edit.
Re Hermit Crab Shell # 5 'I never heard back from the editors, and am afraid to ask why.' You know why. a) You're male. b) You're old c) You wrote about a young woman, making you automatically a pedophile d) the editors are all MFA graduates. Such is the cesspit of cancel culture and political correctness. If you've got something humorous to share, try https://witcraft.org As a 72 year old editor, I might just have a home for you.
Coincidentally, Witcraft is already first in line of the lit mags I plan to submit to. Be prepared for incoming this weekend.
Looking forward to it, Richard.
I just sent you something - as a fellow 72-year-old writer, I hope you like it. And if you don't, I'll only weep a little ...
Elizabeth (and Doug) – It appears I have quickly become 3rd wheel here, but am curious to know where your “something” is. Is it somewhere in in the Lit Mag blog, or is it somewhere in my new Substack account, with which I am totally unfamiliar?
You'll soon receive an email, Elizabeth, which will not make you weep. Fortune favours the brave. :-)
I have received it, Doug - and I'm thrilled! Thanks so much
You are very welcome, Elizabeth.
I can relate to your traveling in the not so brave new world of aging, being only 5 years younger. Because your writing style is so good, I'm surprised your essays have any trouble getting adopted; but I do think you're wise to use a shotgun for submitting as opposed to the sniper rifle the lady you refer to uses, trying to pick off one lit mag at a time.
While I've mostly had poems published [cramming them down the barrel of that metaphorical shotgun!] I have been surprised that the rare essay I've sent out, titled 'The Day I Remembered My Soul', has been published 11 times online [with another release scheduled March 15 by EgoPHobia ] and 3 times in print, including an anthology on suicide. I am a bit ashamed it's taken me over 50 years to share that life-changing NDE with the world, but then we both have lived long enough to know this world is more dangerous than it has ever been in history,
Great lines in here. I like this especially: "Old souls are delightful when young, and their wisdom is cherished in age. But in between, they are annoying know-it-alls."
This is the kind of essay that is pleasant to read in the morning: One long, gentle, yet dark and musty chuckle ushers me into my writing day. Thank you.
I am going to claim "musty chuckler" as an attribute.
I love the hidden joy in this piece. How it is unstated but there that it is worth the writing even if painfully without recognition.
It is the great number of rejections that cause me to dance and shout throughout the house whenever I get an acceptance.
Catapults, sir. Keep loading them and rocking the world. I know, terrible pun (a phrase itself redundant). At your venerable age and based on your skill (the blog post I’m commenting on), you know how to get published: just write what is generally published. But that’s not why you’re here in this world. So the “delicate flower” mode of submission ain’t for you. The hockey metaphor (?) is your lodestone: you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Every held-back story is a shot untaken. Keep catapulting, blasting fish, sending out the cavalry. It’s a numbers game for you, or it should be. I may have used “lodestone״ wrong, but it’s a good word, isn’t it? And you know what I mean. Good luck.
Over time I have become more selective in whom I submit to, which reduces the cost of ammunition. I pay particular attention to themed issues.
That was a thoroughly rewarding read Mr. Leblond. I am even older than you, but like you I took up writing in my seventies as a way of keeping busy in retirement. I eschew writing essays. In the main, I have attempted to write poetry and occasionally flash fiction with moderate success. I began my foray into writing by spraying my output around, sending it to sites I picked out of Poets and Writers. Later, I tended to stick to those sites that had accepted my work in the past. I played safe if you will. It quickly became obvious that editors’ tastes were subjective, one man’s meat being another man’s poison, so that the inevitable rejections no longer hurt as they used to when I started out.
Agreed. I too have come to realize how subjective is the editor’s judgement. I think it depends on how well they are responding to breakfast – that is, their gut feeling. I have been an editor in the past, and most editors are also writers, at least in their closets. I’m ok with going by gut feeling – much preferable to going by politically correct dictums.
loved reading this! so poignant and funny!
I so much enjoyed reading this piece and I bet all those rejected essays are a good read too.
That is also my opinion.
Oh, cool. I started writing and submitting last year. Good to know this is what I have to look forward to. 🤣🤪
It’s quite possible all those rejections make us better writers. And knowing how this process works makes it easier to live with their inevitability.
I'm used to it by now, I've kinda reached the point of 'let it go' and keep trying. I did finally hire an editor to edit my stories. It was time to have a professional set of eyes. If just one story (I sent her 10) gets accepted, it'll be worth it.
I want to read the prostate piece! Keep sending it out. Best of luck.
Allison in Florida
Although quite short, this is one of my favorite pieces, and I’m proud to share it. It was first published by Trampset in 2018, and was also selected by EastOver Press for inclusion in my book. You can access it online with: Trampset LeBlond Writing While Old.
The first thing I thought was, "a 5% acceptance rate! thats incredible". Insert laughing sweat emoji here at telling on myself with my rejection rate.
I read somewhere (hopefully nonfiction) that Elmore Leonard accumulated 82 rejections before his first book was accepted. I know of no other act of self-confidence approaching that.
Here is my coping other than being a digital hoard and trying to accumulate rejections like video game points.
(almost) every time I send out a piece at least one person reads it. In some cases I'm sure its turned and churned, but other places have two or more readers so it evens out. I figure I'm getting more readers with more rejections than I would if I published on the internet by myself.
I don't know if I'd have the fortitude with a manuscript. My reasoning doesn't really hold water there because most of them are likely only reading the blurb or the first page or the first chapter rather than the whole thing...
I write fiction, not essays but I can relate. About the old man story: I wrote a slightly fantasy-ish story about an elderly man grieving the loss of his wife who finds solace in conversations with the Moon. It turns out the moon is not what she seems to be. That thing that I thought was poetic was refused over and over, until LEON took it (thank you guys!) and said they loved it. I believe it received very little love because most editors are very young.... Now, Rock and a Hard Place published one of my story that features an elderly man, no qualms there, but it's a crime/noir thing and when it comes to killing people, your ticket never expires, lol.
“The market is small for old men writing about young girls.” Yeah, no shit. Very enjoyable and entertaining piece about the elusive search for creative home(s).
Great stuff, Richard! Hilarious.