Jul 13, 2023·edited Jul 15, 2023Liked by James Diaz
I appreciate this essay and the author is very brave to write it. The scale of bullying in the digital age puts on display the self-righteousness, the perverse pleasure some experience of inflicting harm on others, and the general lack of emotional self-regulation that so many display, especially online. I think what surprises and hurts the most is that this should occur in the literary community where we come to express ourselves and find healing and community.
Some comments in this space that say "The world sucks, deal with it." Personally, I do not think the world sucks but even if it did, it would not be a good reason not to try to make it better. Furthermore, the "that's-how-things-are" approach simply fails to respond to the assignment proposed by the author, which is precisely this: How can we do better? What should we do if a colleague is being publicly harassed? If remaining out of the fray is not an option, and the author makes a good reason for why it is not, then what do we do?
Social media platforms have (mostly) abandoned any responsiblity for moderating their own platforms. A notable exception is NextDoor where localities choose administrators who follow ND's very clear groundrules for digital conversation and *remove mean or misleading posts*. In my town, the administrators are very good and while the site is still home to much cruelty, stupidity, and even threats of violence, there is a structure in place to get redress so that victims of harassment don't feel utterly alone. Further, there are *actual people* making these decisions. I would argue that it may be necessary for regulation. Perhaps social media platforms should be held accountable when someone can prove they were damaged, as James clearly was, by that platform's lack of responsiblity for maintaining civility. Suing Twitter would be a big ask. Twitter has a list of rules (https://help.twitter.com/en/rules-and-policies/twitter-rules) but what good are rules if no one enforces them?
Let's say out loud that bullying and harm comes from all segments of our community including those who are the victims of bullying and historical injustice themselves. In fact, it is common for people that have been harmed to harm other people. Let's then agree that bullying and canceling is wrong and a real harm, whether the bully is a white supremacist or an autistic transgender person. If people gang up to sink someone's book on Goodreads because of a tweet, for example, this is despicable and should not be framed as some sort of act of justice. An identity as a marginalized person does not shield a person from responsability for heinous behaviour and the community should call such behaviour out.
Editors who pull a poem, story, or essay after a social media brouhaha make a grave ethical error. When I find out about such behaviour, I cross that publication off my list. Perhaps they don't care or feel it and, while I have no interesting in punishing people, I also have no interest in dealing with an editorial team that makes reactive decisions.
We know what cruelty, meanness, name-calling, and bullying are. It is never okay. I will think more about this topic and I urge others to do so as well. What will you do the next time a friend or colleague is disappearing in a Twitter storm? As with natural disasters, we should all have a plan in place.
Thank you so much for this very thoughtful comment and for reading. I'm so grateful to know the spirit of the essay came through for you, and I love the idea of having a plan in place, as with natural disasters, for what to do to help friends and colleagues when these things happen. Having these conversations is so important.
It is a pleasure to respond to a thoughtful essay like yours. Perhaps that "hurricane plan" is something that we can turn into a roundtable-style article here on LitMag News? Let's consider it.
I believe I can understand this situation. I’m an administrator or moderator in four different FB poetry sites where I’ve on occasion had to field legitimate complaints from poets as targets of vituperation. What I’ve done is, first of all, reach out to the aggrieved individual and ask them to give me an account of what happened with a screenshot of the accused’s words. Once I have that I bring it to the attention of the other admins or moderators in the group with my suggestion of a resolution. I receive a prompt response, speak to the accuser and inform them that what they’ve said is against the group’s rules. At this point they are asked to apologize to the person they bullied and put on probation. If they refuse to apologize they are immediately removed from the group. If they convey contrition to the individual but later repeat their behavior they are banned forever.
Jul 13, 2023·edited Jul 13, 2023Liked by James Diaz
Whatever mechanisms would make the literary social-mania space less so would be welcome. I have had only a taste of it, but have definitely seen the pile-ons go for blood and not stop once it’s gotten.
Reaching out to those under attack, even if one might not like what got them there, seems like the most actionable and humane thing. It’s something I had thought, once upon a time, literary folks would be more instead of less prone to, but it does not seem so.
Even better would be the development of a thicker skin by those who can have it, especially in the service of others who cannot, and a new ethos in the literary community aimed against pile-ons and the cut-throat stuff that precedes it.
Thanks for sharing your story, James. The bullying and pain you’ve been through is unfortunate. What I find remarkable about your story is that all of the abuse you and others have suffered has come at the hands of people who believe in things like equality, diversity, compassion and understanding. If I know anything about today’s literary community, it’s that it is an almost entirely leftist, progressive and “woke” group of people. The very people who demand social programs for minorities, outsiders and those on the margins, and who would seem to be overflowing with the milk of human kindness, are the ones who have viciously attacked and de-platformed you.
Sadly, yes, so true. I so hope we can one day better embody and practice our ideals rather than betray them. I have faith. Thank you so much for reading.
Something like 15 years ago, I posted to Facebook "the difference between online activism and online bullying is merely a measure of who you think the victim is," and nothing's really changed that assessment since.
I could have been the author of this piece as I share many of the bullying/dogpiling experiences. And the silence from some is deafening.
Hugs and more hugs because you are not alone. Speaking up oftentimes doesn't work. Moving on is also easier said than done, but the best way for the psyche to cope.
I've come to think of my introverted, empathic self as Goldilocks - so things are just not meant for me, and I have to pick and choose wisely. Namaste
While I sympathise, James, this is a very long piece to say that the world in general can be a shitty place and that the social media part of the world is the deepest sewer. Swim in the poetic ocean with true friends and leave the sewers to the rats.
I wish I had some notion about how to try to help deal with online bullying and harassment in the literary community, or anywhere, and appreciate what Thomas Cleary does as a moderator. Having never joined Twitter, I haven’t witnessed the damage done there. At 75, I will never grow entirely comfortable with social media and tend to live around it, mostly. And I keep writing anyway, and seeing my work into print. But I am uneasy seeing my grandchildren enter a world where the generally accepted level of civility keeps dropping, largely due to the dehumanizing aspects of social media. Words don’t have to fall into the “hate speech” category to do damage.
Thank you, James, for writing this piece. Thank you, Becky, for providing a space for this kind of conversation. This is all making me think of 6th grade, when so many in our class ganged up on one classmate and I joined in because I was so relieved they weren't picking on me. When 7th grade rolled around, I wrote the person an apology, but I couldn't undo my previous behavior. I've had glimpses of that in the 3 years I've been active on social media as a writer. I felt vulnerable too and also was feeling my way through the right and wrong of writing techniques—and ethics. "I'm glad that's not happening to me" is not the mantra I want to live out in real life or online, but I've too often let that guide my actions.
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing that very moving story Lynne. It does often take us right back to the early, younger years. For sure. It can be so frightening, even as an adult, to say something when other's are being mistreated. I know I myself have failed a few times. I'm trying to be braver. Little by little.
We're a social species, so community is essential to mental health. Unfortunatley, a poisoned community will poison our health. The prime directive is "find your tribe." Get away from poison, fast. Don't struggle like a fly in a spiderweb. I belong to several communities, and this also gives balance. If there is trouble in one community, one can transfer to the nurture and security of another. This is merely practical defensive tactics, and I salute those who have the power and will to oppose bullies--to keep their community clean.
I am blessed, then, to be in an amazing supportive constructive writing community here in North Carolina. I’m so sorry it isn’t like this everywhere. The causes and conditions that contribute to such vituperative bullying and wounded withdrawal must run very deep in family and community, outside of the literary world.
At the risk of sounding naive, does this sort of crap happen outside of Twitter? There was some mention of Facebook in comments. I’ve avoided TW due to stories like this--I am not strong enough-- and have only seen a little bit in my FB world. None on IG.
It mostly stays on Twitter. I haven't seen any of this sort of behavior on Instagram. I think in my case it bled over onto Facebook because I had all the people involved blocked on Twitter. Also it took place on a public page that is set up for my magazine, so that's always an added risk that these sorts of things can happen over there as well. Twitter seems uniquely wired for these sorts of toxic exchanges, I think the character limitations, the brevity of form, encourages the impulse to reduce and oversimplify things and people sadly. At least on other platforms much more can be said and expressed, which is always a good thing.
The. ice thing about IG is you have to go out of your way to do it, as comments are not so highlighted. And then you often have to take a real (felt) personal risk, as it is so face- and personality-based. Whereas Twitter’s text- and @-centric format seems to embolden folks and reduce their own risk.
I sympathise. Some years ago I was called "a name that rhymes with shunt" in an online post by one single person in an online writing forum, for saying that I did not 'like' work or web pages that I had not read or visited. The person who posted would never have said that face to face .
I appreciate this essay and the author is very brave to write it. The scale of bullying in the digital age puts on display the self-righteousness, the perverse pleasure some experience of inflicting harm on others, and the general lack of emotional self-regulation that so many display, especially online. I think what surprises and hurts the most is that this should occur in the literary community where we come to express ourselves and find healing and community.
Some comments in this space that say "The world sucks, deal with it." Personally, I do not think the world sucks but even if it did, it would not be a good reason not to try to make it better. Furthermore, the "that's-how-things-are" approach simply fails to respond to the assignment proposed by the author, which is precisely this: How can we do better? What should we do if a colleague is being publicly harassed? If remaining out of the fray is not an option, and the author makes a good reason for why it is not, then what do we do?
Social media platforms have (mostly) abandoned any responsiblity for moderating their own platforms. A notable exception is NextDoor where localities choose administrators who follow ND's very clear groundrules for digital conversation and *remove mean or misleading posts*. In my town, the administrators are very good and while the site is still home to much cruelty, stupidity, and even threats of violence, there is a structure in place to get redress so that victims of harassment don't feel utterly alone. Further, there are *actual people* making these decisions. I would argue that it may be necessary for regulation. Perhaps social media platforms should be held accountable when someone can prove they were damaged, as James clearly was, by that platform's lack of responsiblity for maintaining civility. Suing Twitter would be a big ask. Twitter has a list of rules (https://help.twitter.com/en/rules-and-policies/twitter-rules) but what good are rules if no one enforces them?
Let's say out loud that bullying and harm comes from all segments of our community including those who are the victims of bullying and historical injustice themselves. In fact, it is common for people that have been harmed to harm other people. Let's then agree that bullying and canceling is wrong and a real harm, whether the bully is a white supremacist or an autistic transgender person. If people gang up to sink someone's book on Goodreads because of a tweet, for example, this is despicable and should not be framed as some sort of act of justice. An identity as a marginalized person does not shield a person from responsability for heinous behaviour and the community should call such behaviour out.
Editors who pull a poem, story, or essay after a social media brouhaha make a grave ethical error. When I find out about such behaviour, I cross that publication off my list. Perhaps they don't care or feel it and, while I have no interesting in punishing people, I also have no interest in dealing with an editorial team that makes reactive decisions.
We know what cruelty, meanness, name-calling, and bullying are. It is never okay. I will think more about this topic and I urge others to do so as well. What will you do the next time a friend or colleague is disappearing in a Twitter storm? As with natural disasters, we should all have a plan in place.
Thank you so much for this very thoughtful comment and for reading. I'm so grateful to know the spirit of the essay came through for you, and I love the idea of having a plan in place, as with natural disasters, for what to do to help friends and colleagues when these things happen. Having these conversations is so important.
It is a pleasure to respond to a thoughtful essay like yours. Perhaps that "hurricane plan" is something that we can turn into a roundtable-style article here on LitMag News? Let's consider it.
Yes, I really love that idea, let's try to make that happen.
I believe I can understand this situation. I’m an administrator or moderator in four different FB poetry sites where I’ve on occasion had to field legitimate complaints from poets as targets of vituperation. What I’ve done is, first of all, reach out to the aggrieved individual and ask them to give me an account of what happened with a screenshot of the accused’s words. Once I have that I bring it to the attention of the other admins or moderators in the group with my suggestion of a resolution. I receive a prompt response, speak to the accuser and inform them that what they’ve said is against the group’s rules. At this point they are asked to apologize to the person they bullied and put on probation. If they refuse to apologize they are immediately removed from the group. If they convey contrition to the individual but later repeat their behavior they are banned forever.
I can relate to so much of this. I just started therapy for it. Thanks for giving me hope that it can get better. <3
It can. And therapy is such a great help/tool for these things. I too worked a lot on it in therapy. Hang in there.
therapy is a great tool <3 namaste
Very sad tale. Hiding behind the social media screen to throw stones is not new, but still so cruel & childish.
Whatever mechanisms would make the literary social-mania space less so would be welcome. I have had only a taste of it, but have definitely seen the pile-ons go for blood and not stop once it’s gotten.
Reaching out to those under attack, even if one might not like what got them there, seems like the most actionable and humane thing. It’s something I had thought, once upon a time, literary folks would be more instead of less prone to, but it does not seem so.
Even better would be the development of a thicker skin by those who can have it, especially in the service of others who cannot, and a new ethos in the literary community aimed against pile-ons and the cut-throat stuff that precedes it.
Thanks for sharing your story, James. The bullying and pain you’ve been through is unfortunate. What I find remarkable about your story is that all of the abuse you and others have suffered has come at the hands of people who believe in things like equality, diversity, compassion and understanding. If I know anything about today’s literary community, it’s that it is an almost entirely leftist, progressive and “woke” group of people. The very people who demand social programs for minorities, outsiders and those on the margins, and who would seem to be overflowing with the milk of human kindness, are the ones who have viciously attacked and de-platformed you.
Sadly, yes, so true. I so hope we can one day better embody and practice our ideals rather than betray them. I have faith. Thank you so much for reading.
Something like 15 years ago, I posted to Facebook "the difference between online activism and online bullying is merely a measure of who you think the victim is," and nothing's really changed that assessment since.
I could have been the author of this piece as I share many of the bullying/dogpiling experiences. And the silence from some is deafening.
Hugs and more hugs because you are not alone. Speaking up oftentimes doesn't work. Moving on is also easier said than done, but the best way for the psyche to cope.
I've come to think of my introverted, empathic self as Goldilocks - so things are just not meant for me, and I have to pick and choose wisely. Namaste
Thank you so much. It means everything to know one is not alone. I appreciate you and thank you for reading.
While I sympathise, James, this is a very long piece to say that the world in general can be a shitty place and that the social media part of the world is the deepest sewer. Swim in the poetic ocean with true friends and leave the sewers to the rats.
I wish I had some notion about how to try to help deal with online bullying and harassment in the literary community, or anywhere, and appreciate what Thomas Cleary does as a moderator. Having never joined Twitter, I haven’t witnessed the damage done there. At 75, I will never grow entirely comfortable with social media and tend to live around it, mostly. And I keep writing anyway, and seeing my work into print. But I am uneasy seeing my grandchildren enter a world where the generally accepted level of civility keeps dropping, largely due to the dehumanizing aspects of social media. Words don’t have to fall into the “hate speech” category to do damage.
Thank you, James, for writing this piece. Thank you, Becky, for providing a space for this kind of conversation. This is all making me think of 6th grade, when so many in our class ganged up on one classmate and I joined in because I was so relieved they weren't picking on me. When 7th grade rolled around, I wrote the person an apology, but I couldn't undo my previous behavior. I've had glimpses of that in the 3 years I've been active on social media as a writer. I felt vulnerable too and also was feeling my way through the right and wrong of writing techniques—and ethics. "I'm glad that's not happening to me" is not the mantra I want to live out in real life or online, but I've too often let that guide my actions.
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing that very moving story Lynne. It does often take us right back to the early, younger years. For sure. It can be so frightening, even as an adult, to say something when other's are being mistreated. I know I myself have failed a few times. I'm trying to be braver. Little by little.
Well said, James. Thanks for writing this and for fighting the good fight.
Thank you so much Mark
We're a social species, so community is essential to mental health. Unfortunatley, a poisoned community will poison our health. The prime directive is "find your tribe." Get away from poison, fast. Don't struggle like a fly in a spiderweb. I belong to several communities, and this also gives balance. If there is trouble in one community, one can transfer to the nurture and security of another. This is merely practical defensive tactics, and I salute those who have the power and will to oppose bullies--to keep their community clean.
I am blessed, then, to be in an amazing supportive constructive writing community here in North Carolina. I’m so sorry it isn’t like this everywhere. The causes and conditions that contribute to such vituperative bullying and wounded withdrawal must run very deep in family and community, outside of the literary world.
At the risk of sounding naive, does this sort of crap happen outside of Twitter? There was some mention of Facebook in comments. I’ve avoided TW due to stories like this--I am not strong enough-- and have only seen a little bit in my FB world. None on IG.
It mostly stays on Twitter. I haven't seen any of this sort of behavior on Instagram. I think in my case it bled over onto Facebook because I had all the people involved blocked on Twitter. Also it took place on a public page that is set up for my magazine, so that's always an added risk that these sorts of things can happen over there as well. Twitter seems uniquely wired for these sorts of toxic exchanges, I think the character limitations, the brevity of form, encourages the impulse to reduce and oversimplify things and people sadly. At least on other platforms much more can be said and expressed, which is always a good thing.
The. ice thing about IG is you have to go out of your way to do it, as comments are not so highlighted. And then you often have to take a real (felt) personal risk, as it is so face- and personality-based. Whereas Twitter’s text- and @-centric format seems to embolden folks and reduce their own risk.
I sympathise. Some years ago I was called "a name that rhymes with shunt" in an online post by one single person in an online writing forum, for saying that I did not 'like' work or web pages that I had not read or visited. The person who posted would never have said that face to face .