43 Comments
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M.E. Proctor's avatar

I have an entire checklist of stuff to cut in revision: adverbs (unless indispensable), passive voice (these gerunds!), and the filler words: understand, put, nod, shrug, very, up, down... a huge list! ll things I don't worry about in first draft because you have to let loose, right?

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

Having a list is a brilliant idea. And I bet it keeps getting longer. I have a blurry sense of my overused words, but I think I'll start my own list. Thanks for the idea.

Belindajk's avatar

A wonderful idea! I do read my work aloud and often come across unnecessary and/or overused words and phrases, but don't have list per se. Do you suppose you could share that list? I would love to see it.

M.E. Proctor's avatar

Oh, you don't know what you're asking for, lol! It's huge! I write in 3rd person limited, past tense, so keep that in mind, and know that you can accept some of this stuff if it's REALLY needed. OK, let's go! Chop all the adverbs, change all the 'was ...ing" to active verbs, change "see, hear, smell, think, know, understand, realize, believe, want, remember, put, touch, wonder, watch, look, seem, feel, can, decide, sound, smile, nod, shrug". Hunt for the "there was, it was". Drop prepositions: up, over, down. Chop the filler words: just, either, anyway, very, really, pretty, good, things, great, little, some. PFFF, I'm tired! And the list only grows!

Belindajk's avatar

Whew! Thanks so much, Martine, providing this comprehensive list of words to review, rethink, revise and , yes, delete!

Trish Newbery's avatar

I've had a cutting-only session with two pieces today - worked wonders in both cases. Thank you for some great advice.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

My pleasure, Patricia. Yes, cutting is our best friend. But not always an easy friend to let inside.

D. P. Snyder's avatar

Nice list, Harper, although I always say that I put a text "to cool", not to bake. The cooling off metaphor is important to me because when I return to a text after letting it sit, I look at it with a colder, more detached eye. Here are a few more suggestions: search for the pronoun "that" and all the various forms of the verb "to be". "She said he was evil" is more effective than "She said that he was evil." If there's a more descriptive verb that is/are, use it. "She said he made her blood run cold." Finally, there may be words that you're too fond of and tend to overuse. Also, check for disharmonious repetitions and unintended internal rhymes.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

Excellent tips. The word "that" is often (though certainly not always) cuttable. And yes, active verbs are often preferable to to-be verbs. Thanks D. P.

D. P. Snyder's avatar

Thank YOU! It's a smart idea to go over these housekeeping items with each other regularly. Your essay has no doubt improved a great many manuscripts already. :)

Nathan Tompkins's avatar

Great article…I would also add: make sure you’re actually sending them your story…and not just the word template you’re using.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

Indeed, Nathan. Unless you're going for something very oddly experimental.

Tedd Hawks's avatar

I love the oven tip - that's such a good metaphor for letting a story breathe and grow before sharing.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

Thanks, Tedd! As an editor, boy do I wish everyone would let their work bake for a while before sending! :) Thanks for reading this.

Dorothy Dean Walton's avatar

Great tips, thanks! Yes, me too, list will emerge.

Nancy Patchen's avatar

Terrific advice. Thank you!

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

My pleasure, Nancy. Thanks for reading it.

Claire Coenen's avatar

This was so helpful. I love the "night edit" concept. Thanks so much for sharing!

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

You're welcome, Claire. Glad you found the article helpful.

Mike Ekunno's avatar

Any one who straddles the two separate fields of writing and professional editing would find this both familiar and revealing. Often some of the more subtle stuff we cut from clients slip up in our own writing. This piece manages to hold the mirror. It was the Part II that got me backtracking to this and they have been of amazing help.

Arpad Nagy's avatar

Great tips. Looking forward to part 2! Thank you.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

Thanks, Arpad. I loved writing this. I'm glad you found the tips helpful.

Belindajk's avatar

Thanks for recommending In the Gloaming, by Elliott Dark. The title sounded so familiar. Turns out, I have a hardback copy of In The Gloaming among the many books in my archives I've yet to read. I've extracted it and elevated it to next-read status. Looking forward to the title story in particular and gleaning what I can about showing rather than telling!

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

I think you'll love it, Belinda. One of the best stories in the anthology.

Belindajk's avatar

Ah! Well thank you, Becky, for providing the platform and to Erik Harper Klass for his generosity in sharing his editorial expertise.

Belindajk's avatar

Thank you so much, Becky, for generously sharing your expertise to help the rest of us fine-tune our work and get published!

I'm one of those writers who actually enjoys editing and revision. I'm constantly amazed when changes in word choice and/or phrasing result in remarkable transformation; it feels like alchemy. And it seems, no matter how much I whittle down a piece, if I keep at it, I will always find more words and phrases to delete. In particular, when a call for submissions requires me to lower my word count substantially. I love watching my work become increasingly tight and concise.

Becky Tuch's avatar

Thanks, Belinda! Just fyi, the author of this piece is not me but Erik Harper Klass. He is a brilliant editor. :)

Maira Suro's avatar

Very good reminders. I have two pieces “in the oven”. Looking forward to laying eyes on them again and hoping for some progress through editing. Thank you...😉

Laura Daniels, Writer's avatar

Great tips. Thank you for sharing and I had to share it to my Facebook page: The Fringe 999. Writers helping writers is a beautiful thing.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

Absolutely. Please spread the word.

Ben Wakeman's avatar

Thank you, there’s a lot of helpful information here.

Erik Harper Klass's avatar

You're welcome, Ben. Thanks for checking it out.