Very true. I know so many "successful" writers, writers with great publications who have won presitigious fellowships and prizes, who brood and gnash their teeth with jealousy and discontent. I also know a successful writer who is always immersed in a new project and they are satisfied. Arriving as a writer is getting to write! Thanks for this nice reminder.
This observation rings true: "Sometimes, we can get distracted by trying to get published or trying to finish a project or trying to write something “good” so much that we forget about what we love about writing." I think about this a lot. As a writer and literary translator, I have a lot of manuscripts on my desk at different points of completion. Recently, I made a BIG push for a literary noir I'm translating: I believe so much in the value of this book, and, quite frankly, I want it off my desk. Along with the spirit of play, which is so important, there's a connected idea: the spirit of patience.
Very helpful. I had just written in my journal: "Time to stop, reconsider, rest, reflect and yes, let go. I get on my "I have to publish" horse and gallop away, trampling myself as I go." Then I asked myself what would happen if no one says "yes" to my work, and my answer was "Nothing really. Writing will still be what I do, part of who I am. With or without affirmation." And then I gave myself a little pep talk about ways to affirm myself. Your thoughts were a wonderful reminder. Thank you.
I had better believe that I made it as time is running out for me. I am 76 and am aware that things happen to people of my age that are natural. It is also true that I might live a bit longer to accomplish even more. But I know with all my heart that I have done the best I could have while raising a family, engaging in a profession that matters and requires most of your time and yet I have still found bits of time to write. Now I just want my memoir that has been completed and professionally edited to get published and one more book of poetry ready to put in manuscript form. No, I will not lay down and die- there's always more to do.
There is so much to love about this essay. So much of your story sounds like mine - writing since childhood, writing for a job, and yet still not feeling like you are writing. Much of what you write here is what works for me. And perhaps the most powerful has been finding community. My community of writers - writers I meet in person every month and writers I am just meeting now on Substack have bee essential to my journey to contentment and progress in my writing life. Thank you for this Bethany.
What a wonderful and valuable discussion--a topic we all face, over and over, in our writing lives. I think it takes years and maturity and experience to find the place that is contentment, in both writing and life, and a lot of mistakes too. For me, it has been a search through what "success" means to me, and I've come to the place, as you also suggested, that it's about my own satisfaction and fulfillment, not at all what the world presents as success. But that's easy to say from here, looking back, and having had a career that took me through every kind of publishing experience I could imagine. Not as easy to have this kind of stable and healthy outlook in the beginning, when striving is everything. Thanks for the wisdom and encouragement in this post.
A note on living with rejection – I read that Elmore Leonard received 84 rejections before his first book was published. I suspect there is an important piece of information missing there, as that seems well beyond the limit any ego could endure. I first attempted to publish 10 years ago and have had some success. But along the way I’ve been riddled by more than 600 rejections, averaging about one a week. Of course I now expect them – their blows are much softer – and I still do my victory dance throughout the house when an acceptance arrives. I have a friend who is an excellent photographer and I fruitlessly prod him to submit, but his fear of rejection leaves his work unrecognized except by his closest friends.
Almost everything I’ve published has been rejected at least once, and the majority multiple times. My current interpretation is that we are submitting to a community of editors with highly individual tastes and idiosyncratic sensitivities, rather than to a community guided by a common set of literary standards. There is no way of knowing how they will respond to my work, and it may well depend on how well or poorly they are digesting their breakfast. I find this to be comforting. (If any editors are reading this – ha! ha! I’m just kidding, and Richard LeBlond is not my real name.)
When I've "arrived," it means I've poured the tea and put my posterior on a seat in front of my desk, arranging my body into approximate right angles, so I can stay there awhile. Thanks, Bethany, for this lovely piece.
In your management role you missed writing, as a writer you add management to your career; all the learning you did and do on your path, the tools you’ve got in your kit are reflected in your essay, power to you Bethany!
This is so helpful! Thank you for this wonderful post. It's easy to beat oneself up for what one hasn't achieved (my novel was not a bestseller) but now I will try to have S.M.A.R.T goals!
Very true. I know so many "successful" writers, writers with great publications who have won presitigious fellowships and prizes, who brood and gnash their teeth with jealousy and discontent. I also know a successful writer who is always immersed in a new project and they are satisfied. Arriving as a writer is getting to write! Thanks for this nice reminder.
Wonderful essay--thoughtful and smart.
This observation rings true: "Sometimes, we can get distracted by trying to get published or trying to finish a project or trying to write something “good” so much that we forget about what we love about writing." I think about this a lot. As a writer and literary translator, I have a lot of manuscripts on my desk at different points of completion. Recently, I made a BIG push for a literary noir I'm translating: I believe so much in the value of this book, and, quite frankly, I want it off my desk. Along with the spirit of play, which is so important, there's a connected idea: the spirit of patience.
Much needed read for me this morning! So many passages I could quote, but I will limit to this:
I’ve found that the key to not allowing the feelings of self-doubt to take over is to develop a practice of gratitude.
Very helpful. I had just written in my journal: "Time to stop, reconsider, rest, reflect and yes, let go. I get on my "I have to publish" horse and gallop away, trampling myself as I go." Then I asked myself what would happen if no one says "yes" to my work, and my answer was "Nothing really. Writing will still be what I do, part of who I am. With or without affirmation." And then I gave myself a little pep talk about ways to affirm myself. Your thoughts were a wonderful reminder. Thank you.
This is so true and so helpful; I will save it for rereading as needed!
Beautiful essay. I would only add that we write because we must.
Love what you are sending out in the world. ¡Adelante!
I had better believe that I made it as time is running out for me. I am 76 and am aware that things happen to people of my age that are natural. It is also true that I might live a bit longer to accomplish even more. But I know with all my heart that I have done the best I could have while raising a family, engaging in a profession that matters and requires most of your time and yet I have still found bits of time to write. Now I just want my memoir that has been completed and professionally edited to get published and one more book of poetry ready to put in manuscript form. No, I will not lay down and die- there's always more to do.
Great piece! Thank you.
Really appreciate the advice here. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in navigating these things.
There is so much to love about this essay. So much of your story sounds like mine - writing since childhood, writing for a job, and yet still not feeling like you are writing. Much of what you write here is what works for me. And perhaps the most powerful has been finding community. My community of writers - writers I meet in person every month and writers I am just meeting now on Substack have bee essential to my journey to contentment and progress in my writing life. Thank you for this Bethany.
What a wonderful and valuable discussion--a topic we all face, over and over, in our writing lives. I think it takes years and maturity and experience to find the place that is contentment, in both writing and life, and a lot of mistakes too. For me, it has been a search through what "success" means to me, and I've come to the place, as you also suggested, that it's about my own satisfaction and fulfillment, not at all what the world presents as success. But that's easy to say from here, looking back, and having had a career that took me through every kind of publishing experience I could imagine. Not as easy to have this kind of stable and healthy outlook in the beginning, when striving is everything. Thanks for the wisdom and encouragement in this post.
A note on living with rejection – I read that Elmore Leonard received 84 rejections before his first book was published. I suspect there is an important piece of information missing there, as that seems well beyond the limit any ego could endure. I first attempted to publish 10 years ago and have had some success. But along the way I’ve been riddled by more than 600 rejections, averaging about one a week. Of course I now expect them – their blows are much softer – and I still do my victory dance throughout the house when an acceptance arrives. I have a friend who is an excellent photographer and I fruitlessly prod him to submit, but his fear of rejection leaves his work unrecognized except by his closest friends.
Almost everything I’ve published has been rejected at least once, and the majority multiple times. My current interpretation is that we are submitting to a community of editors with highly individual tastes and idiosyncratic sensitivities, rather than to a community guided by a common set of literary standards. There is no way of knowing how they will respond to my work, and it may well depend on how well or poorly they are digesting their breakfast. I find this to be comforting. (If any editors are reading this – ha! ha! I’m just kidding, and Richard LeBlond is not my real name.)
When I've "arrived," it means I've poured the tea and put my posterior on a seat in front of my desk, arranging my body into approximate right angles, so I can stay there awhile. Thanks, Bethany, for this lovely piece.
In your management role you missed writing, as a writer you add management to your career; all the learning you did and do on your path, the tools you’ve got in your kit are reflected in your essay, power to you Bethany!
This is so helpful! Thank you for this wonderful post. It's easy to beat oneself up for what one hasn't achieved (my novel was not a bestseller) but now I will try to have S.M.A.R.T goals!